Another reminder...

I was starting to think that buying school clothes, school supplies and cute little backpacks would be much easier. I don't think I would wake up at 3:00am worrying if Logan would want a football or basketball backpack. I don't think I would spend hours trying to find the perfect pencil for Mariah to learn how to write. And, I don't think I would have nightmares because my kids didn't get into college and they are going to be living at home, jobless for the rest of their lives all because the paper wasn't the right size. However, with my current choice of schooling (and yes, everyone, I realize it is something I choose), I have been waking up at 3:00am wondering if the curriculum I picked is going to be okay. I have spent hours trying to find the most "economical" way to home school. And I seriously have had nightmares that since I changed Logan's curriculum this year he didn't get into the college he wanted. Okay, a little insane - yes, but this is my life for the last several weeks!!

After I was thinking about the difficulties of home schooling, I decided that if I did send my kids to school - be it private or public school, I would be crying my eyes out at the thought of not being with them for 7 hours straight. I would wonder at every moment what they were learning, what they were absorbing into their minds, what they were telling everyone they saw (because let me tell you, my kids tell EVERYTHING!!!). At every turn of my day, I would miss their laughing, arguing, never-ending questions. So, at that moment when I think it would be easier for me to take a different road, I realize God has given me the desire to teach and train my children at home. And if I didn't obey that desire within me, I would be so miserable!!

Excerpts from a funny little conversation:

Lady buying Logan's bed: "Does she go to Kindergarten?" (Talking about Mariah)
Me: "Yes. I home school the kids and she is starting Kindergarten this coming week"
Lady: (Gasped) "You home school? All of them????" (She seriously looked at me like I had horns coming out of my head.)
Me: "Yes!"
Lady: "WHY?????"

Oh, how I need to come up with a good answer to this, but at that moment nothing witty came to me! Then after my meek and humble explanation:

Lady: "What do you do about socialization for them?"
I just looked at her, possibly like SHE had horns coming out of her head. Then I looked at Logan as he was having a very pleasant (and intelligent) conversation with her husband about football and I shrugged my shoulders and said "they really don't seem to be lacking in that area". Sometimes actions speak much louder than words!!

Let the school year begin!!

P.S. An update from my last blog - Yes, I figured the whole computer thing out - all by myself!!! It just took me vacuuming the carpet for the answer to come to me....Oh, how my mom was proud!

FRUSTRATED!!!

Just so you all know....I am NOT A COMPUTER GEEK!! I currently own a very old, almost ready to die, overloaded computer. If in this situation a few years ago, we would have just gone out and bought a new one. Instead, it is happening now, at a time when money is tight and we really don't have a few hundred dollars to spend on a new computer. So, I have spent the day trying to breathe a little more life into this old machine. I got everything done that I wanted to do and was ready to install Logan's school software....and it won't install!!!!! It keeps asking me these super technical, highly geeky questions and I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWERS. I even typed that in and it responded with a typical error message....

So, you all might enjoy reading my blog but you certainly wouldn't want me to try to fix your computer!! Pray for me, and the computer as it might just get thrown through the sliding glass window!!

Needing to hug my kids more...

Sad news was text to Phil on Monday night and I can't help but think about how precious and fragile life is. A couple that Phil grew up with in Oregon had a son, named Logan, die on Monday night at the tender age of 13. A couple weeks before his death, he was riding his 4-wheeler in Arizona and landed wrong after jumping his bike. He suffered severe head injuries among other things. He lived for a little over two weeks after the accident, in a coma and on life support. It is hard to imagine how a parent survives such a thing. I ask that anyone who reads my blog would pray for the Walters family as they try to put the pieces of their life back together after this amazing loss.


Also, hug your kids tighter, kiss them a lot, tell them you love them more than just once a day, play with them, laugh with them, teach them to love God and trust in Him, tell them they are the greatest gift ever, and cuddle them as often as they will let you. Unfortunately, we do not know what tomorrow holds, but we don't want to be caught wishing we would have done things differently.

Last day of single digits....FOREVER!!

Today is Logan's last day for single digits. Yep, it is the big one...and he is actually excited about it. Doesn't he realize that he WILL NEVER BE IN THE SINGLE DIGITS AGAIN!??! Some days I wish I could go back to single digits and stay there. Well, not really, but if I had his childhood I would!! Tomorrow, sweet, grown up, way too cute for his own good, smarter than a whip Logan will be turning 10!!! A decade - already!!

As I sit and look at the kid he has become I have to say I am quite proud. Nobody in our new church would ever believe what a tyrant he was when he was 2 and 3 years old. And to be honest, nobody in our old church can believe how that crazy, out of control, too much energy kid has turned out. I must say, I thank God that He gave me my difficult kid first. Scary that I decided to have more, but the last two have been a breeze after him. However, I digress a little....

Logan was the beginning of a new world for Phil and I. He was the beginning of our journey through parenthood. The little bundle that nearly didn't make it the night he was born, turned the life Phil and I had into a "family". I remember bringing him home to our two dogs and letting them sniff and meet him. Bruno (the favorite dog!!) sniffed him and then sat down and just looked at him. From that moment on, Logan had his own personal guard dog.

Life was chaos those first few days, because Logan refused to figure out how to eat and I was too stubborn to let him win. Little did I know that was just the beginning of our stubborn sides colliding!! I remember taking him out of church more times than I can count on one hand because he kept screaming. I remember Victoria standing on the pew holding herself up with her hands on the pew in front of her and Logan trying to "parent" her by pulling her hands off the pew. Guess what happened, yep, I nice crack in the chin for Victoria - thankfully they have this skin glue that works just as good as stitches!! Logan just kept saying "we aren't supposed to stand on the pew, mom". Then, I remember him coming inside from playing with friends saying,

Logan: "Mom, the kids are saying the 's' word"

Me: "what word is that Logan?"

Logan: "Stupid"

Me: (thinking whew!!), "okay, Lo, then just stay inside for a while"

Sometimes those stubborn toddlers turn into stubborn kids that know the rules and stick to them - no matter what everyone else is doing!! I love that part.

Now I look at him and realize he is only a few years from "teenager" and only a few more years from driving and then graduating and then leaving home and then.....oh, I just can't think about it sometimes. Some people think these are the hardest years, but truly the hardest years are going to come when he is ready to take flight on his own. That is when you have to trust in what you have taught them and PRAY - a lot!! So, for now, I will truly try to enjoy having my sweet boy around. I will try to not get irritated when he can't seem to figure out how to pick up his dirty clothes from the bathroom floor. I will try to cherish every moment when he wants to play a game with me (because there will probably come a day when he doesn't want to hang out with me!). I will thank God everyday that He has enabled me to home school him. I will enjoy spending a lot of money and time on his quizzing adventures. I will marvel at all his abilities and trust that God has an awesome plan for him.

Well, Buddy, you have grown up so much already and it is hard to believe how much you will grow and change in the decade to come. Just know that your mom and dad love you more than you will ever know. We are proud of the boy you have become and count it our privilege to be your parents. Sleep good tonight because when you wake up....you will be 10!!

Oh my...did I really allow this?

I realize I am incredibly over-protective and maybe sometimes a little "controlling" when it comes to my kids. I don't mean it in a bad way, I really do it all out of love and concern for my sweet kiddos. So, when I just watched a van pull away with my little girls in it with two other moms and their daughters I think I almost cried. Not only did my girls go without me or a close family member, but they were headed to a fancy girls only swimming party.

At first, I declined the invitation for the girls. Phil had to work, I have Logan (a boy) and I had 5 extra kids all week and wasn't sure if they would still be around. But, these sweet ladies were willing to take my girls so they could enjoy the fun. I know, how nice for the ladies to offer. But sometimes it is hard for me to let go. Funniest thing...Mariah started saying she just wanted to stay home and "take a nap" - hilarious kid - what five year says they are willing to miss a swimming party to take a nap?? My youngest, that is who!!

So, I am not sure what has happened to the mom I thought I was. To be honest, I haven't quit thinking about them since they left. When my cell phone rang and it was the mom that had my girls, I think my heart stopped for a minute. But, this is just all part of growing up...not just for my kids but for me as a mom. And, won't I be happy when I see their sweet faces in a few hours.

Is it time yet?