Wide Awake at 3:05am

I opened my eyes and saw it was still dark out, whew...at least I can get more sleep. I rolled over, looked at the clock and it said 3:05 AM. Why, oh why, do I do this? Then, I realized it is not 3:05 AM on an ordinary day. It is 3:05 AM on August 17th. Exactly 11 years, 5 minutes after the time my sweet son arrived!! I laid there and thought about those first few minutes of his life. Then, I sadly realized, I can't remember them because I was coming out of anesthesia from a very scary, traumatic, nothing seemed to be going right, c-section for my first-born to arrive. I laid there thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong that night. And laid there with the most thankful heart that God decided to make sure everything was okay and my sweet Logan arrived safely!

It is hard to realize 11 years have passed, but the fear I felt for about 1 hour will never leave me. I remember the concern in the nurses eyes. I remember my doctor coming in, eventhough he wasn't on call, and explaining what was going on. I remember my doctor yelling in the operating room that things needed to be handled now! I remember the look in my husbands eyes as they ushered him out of the operating room while they administered the anesthesia. Then, I remember holding that precious child in my arms for the first time. I remember his sweet face, his large hands, his cowlick in the middle of his forehead, his scream. I remember the over-whelming feeling of responsibility that hit me, even in my medicated state. That day completely changed my world.

So, I laid in bed awake a little longer this morning, thinking about the abundant blessing I have. God gave me a son first to really see if I was in for the long-haul on this mothering thing. I still ask God why He didn't give me a brother if He knew He was going to give me a son someday. I truly shake my head at times because the world of a boy is so different than the world of a girl. But, I love him more than words can say. I am so proud of the boy he has become and look forward to seeing all that God has in store for his life. I love you Logan....have a great Birthday!

Feeling a little left out? Not at all!

I got a text from Phil a little while ago with an update on when he and Logan would return from work tonight:

"Just want you to know Lo and I are out for a birthday dinner just the 2 of us...he asked if he could go with just me"

Oh, how that kid loves his Dad. I remember when he was little and people would always comment/judge/criticize Phil for how much he worked and that he didn't spend enough time with his son and if he wasn't careful his son wouldn't want anything to do with him and he would turn into a Mama's boy (now that makes me laugh!) and you know, boys need their Daddy's to teach them how to be men. Crazy thing??? I actually listened at first and fretted and worried and tried to figure out how to change life, then I realized God had it all under control. Whew...having a few more kids really helps you to stop listening to all the crazy people out there that have too many opinions and not enough of the facts.

Getting that text from Phil confirms that God knew what He was doing. Yes, Phil has always worked A LOT. But, the amazing part is that God created Phil a little ADHD (not diagnosed, just an observation), not so good for his elementary school career but great for being a Dad that works 70-80 hours per week. I have never met another man like him. Every night he still gives his kids the time and energy they need and on his weekends off we make the most of them. Yes, the garage is a mess (so Phil uses the front door instead of the garage), the backyard needs some tending to (I just close the blinds before he comes home), but our kids get to enjoy their time with their Daddy.

So, no, I really don't feel left out all...just incredibly blessed that God chose to give me a husband that is my son's best friend. Enjoy your dinner boys....you deserve it!

So much has happened...

What a busy, busy couple of months we have had. It started and ended with Bible Quizzing. On June 19, 2010, the Napa Junior Bible Quiz Team took Second Place at the Western District State Finals....which qualified us for a spot at the National Tournament in St. Louis, MO during the week of July 24th.

The weekend started out a little bit rocky for us. We lost our first quiz, then found out that our second quiz was up against the team that took first place at the last quiz. We knew that if we lost the second quiz we were done for the year. And we knew it could go either way since we had battled back and forth all year. We were thankful that our team was able to win the second quiz and continue winning until the championship game. We lost, but were so thankful that we finished second. However, this extended our quiz season and actually postponed summer vacation as most of us know it. The next month was spent planning, fundraising, practicing, quoting, planning, practicing, fundraising...I guess you get the point. I now realize I am part of one of the best churches around. It was absolutely amazing the way people helped us get to Nationals; between washing cars, helping me organize and plan the trip , making plum jelly until after midnight to sell as a fundraiser for us, buying lots of "Floats and Boats", organizing future fundraisers and just giving our kids so much encouragement. I am so thankful to be in a place like this and to know that when we have done all we can do, He sends people to help pick up and move on until the task is accomplished.

Nationals did not go as we wanted....we got knocked out of the tournament pretty quick, but we were so proud of our kids for the tremendous year we had. I was truly privileged to work with four of the greatest kids. I pray that this year of quizzing was as enjoyable for them as it was for me.

It was sad to see the quiz season come to an end, but realized that my summer could begin. After losing our second game, we packed up and headed to Indiana to see Phil's cousin and his family. It was a much needed trip. As we got closer to the "country" of the mid-west, I could feel all the stress and pressure start to leave. As I sat on the back deck, listening to the kids swim, looking out over Phil's-late-Grandpa's "retirement" farm, I realized just how faithful God has been to us. I realized the last year has been more insane than usual for us, but in the midst of it all, it didn't feel like it. That is how God works....He puts you under intense pressure and heat in order to mold you, but He is so gentle sometimes that we don't even feel the magnitude of the heat until we are in the cool again. I pray that He molded me into a better person, mother, wife and friend over the last 8 months.

Now...on to summer!

**A slide show of our trips is in the making....**